Hello and welcome to WIPpet Wednesday, a blog hop wherein writers share an excerpt from their current WIP that somehow relates to the date. To join in, simply click the blue linky up there to the right.
I’ve got to say, the weather right now is not ideal for writing. About all it is good for is lying in front of a fan eating ice-cream. My house doesn’t have air conditioning, but even if it did, said device would be struggling. And air conditioning in the places that do have it is cranked so low that power outages are just happening without warning. We got to leave work early today because the power went out at about 1:45. By 2, they were asking all members of the public to leave and the rest of us trailed out soon afterwards, since there really wasn’t anythiing for us to go on with, and also, emergency lighting is not really bright enough to work by.
So my plan from the beginning of January to spend the first week revising what I’d written and then get back to writing in the second week is becoming more “Spend first month of the year revising then get bacak to writing in the second month.” But that’s okay. I actually had to remind myself that it’s only the 16th, we have only just entered the third week of the year, so it’s okay if goals go a bit skewiff at this point.
Also, I was spectacularly late with visiting your WIPpet posts from last week, but I did get there! You’re possibly reading the comments around the same time you’re reading this post. 😀
For my WIPpet this week, I have eight paragraphs (1+6+1). Context: Ria met Janey on the street and Janey offered her a place to stay. It turns out Janey is a pickpocket, and she planned on using Ria’s earnings to make up to her boss, Old Sam (think a Fagin-type character) for not earning anything of her own that day. Ria tries to get away, but is surrounded at the door.
“Turn around,” Old Sam ordered, and I did as he said. I had no way to escape and while ever I was stuck here, I didn’t want to be on his bad side. He tugged at the dressing, his fingernails scraping the top of the brand. The skin was still tender and I cried out. He tugged the cloth and the knot I had tied at the front came loose, letting him pull the whole thing away.
“Mind Magician!” Old Sam bellowed. The two girls by the door recoiled from him and as I slowly turned back to face him, I realised that everyone else had done the same. He wasn’t looking at me anymore. His gaze was on Janey, who took a couple of steps back from him.
“Sam,” she whimpered, “I didn’t know. She had it hidden. She -”
“You brought a Mind Magician under my roof!” he shouted, and she took another step back, coming up against the wall in the narrow entrance hall. “How dare you!”
“She hid it!” Janey exclaimed, and she was crying now. “I thought it was just a scarf or something – her hair was covering most of it before! I didn’t know! I’m sorry, Sam, I’m sorry!”
Sam raised his arm to strike her. I glanced over my shoulder and saw the door was now unguarded. The two girls must have disappeared to avoid Sam’s temper. I grabbed at Janey’s arm, pulled her out of Sam’s reach just as his arm came down. I threw myself towards the door and pushed it open. I tumbled out, dragging Janey with me. I dropped my violin as we tumbled down the couple of steps to the street. I picked it up and turned back just in time to see Old Sam’s figure filling the door frame, pointing down at Janey.
“You got lucky, girl! Don’t you ever set foot again in here, do you hear me?”
He slammed the door behind him.
Janey was going to become a main character, until I remember Ria gets a best friend a bit later. There wasn’t enough room for both of them and unfortunately for Janey, Lucy is more integral to the plot. She and RIa hang out for a bit and then part ways, but I’ll probably try to have her show up sometime later in the story so the reader knows she’s okay.
Things are getting a bit busy around here but I’ll try to not leave it a full week before I get around to your posts this time!
6 thoughts on “#WIPpet Wednesday – January 16, 2019”
Yikes. That got tense. Glad she got Janey out of there.
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I’m glad it came across that way.
Why does it seem the trend that a person can only have one “bestie”? Friendships fall away and regrow in real life… Why does Janey have to be “less” For that matter, why can’t she find a place as teacher/mentor, anti-friend (the kind who cares a lot but always causes Ria trouble, kind of like a Trickster archetype)….
For that matter, how did Ria get caught in this situation?
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I’m not saying she was any less than anyone else, but she was bogging down the plot when I needed to move it forward, and as an unplanned character who just appeared during a writing sprint, it was easier to just go back to the original plan.
I was writing scenes where Ria was teaching Janey to read, or helping Janey find a job, which is good and all, but by 20k-words in, I need Ria to be joining the Casyl & Co. circus, which can’t happen if she’s teaching an urchin to read and not accidentally getting her musical-psychic-ability noticed.
Initially when she showed up in the plot, I was going to have them both going to the circus together but I couldn’t really justify it. Once we get to the circus, there’s quite a large ensemble cast already and she would have become lost in the crowd. I’m actually still not happy with the way I have her leaving Ria at the moment, but I’m leaving it for future revisions.
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Ah… I see. Actually, maybe having Ria have to leave her will open up options for her to add a major (possibly resentment fueled) plot complication later on or in a sequel.
(looks out her window) Um, it’s in the single digits F here so ice cream is out of the question.
Love this snippet. It’s intense, and I’m glad they got out of there. A hate-filled elder isn’t worth sticking around for.